Oops - this is a blog I forgot to post before my last post. It was still in draft form. So here it is for what it's worth:


BLIND FAITH: That's how you describe this vitrectomy surgery for a macular hole. Here's why:

1. You notice that one of your eyes has distorted central vision - faces look like aliens and straight lines are curvy. (What the....?@!)

2. You go see your opthamologist who sends you to a retina specialist the same day because this is a big-time problemo - and you are the proud owner of a MACULAR HOLE (a WHAT?!).

3. You have immediate painless out-patient eye surgery to close the hole before it gets worse.

4. What the surgeon does: He pokes holes in your eyes with equipment that sucks out the vitreous gel inside the eyeball - he smoothes over the macular hole - then he blows a gas bubble into your eyeball to press against the repaired hole & keep it shut. (The gas will dissapate over time & your own vitreous gel will replenish itself. - wallah!)

5. After the surgery you are subjected to the torture of having to remain face-down for at least five days. It's like being in a massage chair or table 24/7. Your eye feels fine - it is your strained neck and back that start absolutely killing you from the positioning. Not to mention the boredom of looking at the floor! (CHALLENGE #1)

6. Soon, you can look up, because supposedly and/or hopefully the gas bubble in your bad eye has pressed against the repaired hole long enough to keep the darn hole closed (like holding something you glue until it sets). Afterwards, this bubble keeps you from seeing anything, because, man, you can't see through it! Oh, yes, the bubble gets a little smaller each day, but the fact that you can't see anything on that side of your body, and the fact that your depth perception sucks - well, this could drive you C.R.A.Z.Y. (CHALLEGE #2)

7. But, it's mind over matter. You know you have an excellent surgeon. You know you have researched the results from this procedure ad nauseum and that you will see normal again - soon enough.

8. But, you have to have blind faith that this is going to happen. There's nothing you can do but wait. Six weeks isn't that long, is it? That's one report card for all us school teachers.

9. I do have faith - albeit blind faith - that my outcome will be good. In the meantime, I keep wanting to shut my luckily winkable bad eye, just so I can see "normal" - but I sure hate to do that in public. But you KNOW that you can do anything for a SHORT time - right? (How many times have I preached that to my kids?)

10. SO - when I can put the brush back into my fingernail polish on the first try - and hit the red order button at Sonic on the first try - I will THEN know - that my faith was rewarded, and I'm back to my old honery self - warts and all!

Do you think they'll want to put this description in the American Journal of Medicine? If so, I should have used the APA formatting and style guide to writing. Didn't and won't and shouldn't!

Day 24 After Surgery

NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS: I haven't posted in 10 days because there has been expected minimal change in my Evil Eye as I am going through the "waiting for the gas bubble to go away" stage. However, I have gone from seeing a sliver of the world at the top of my eye to now seeing a person standing in front of me from the neck up. A teacher friend was asking me at school last week how the vision was progressing. I looked at her and said, "Well, I can see you from the neck up." And she said, "Well, don't worry that you are seeing double now, because that's just my chin."

So, I am half-way through the period it takes the gas bubble to completely go away. Then, I will go back to the retina specialist and get a vision acuity check to determine how well the surgery went! That will be the true test of this amazing procedure modern medicine has to offer! Well, I'll be seeing you!

Day 16 After Surgery

I FEEL LIKE POPEYE: I don't smoke a pipe, but I do eat spinach - and I understand why Popeye must have kept one eye squinted. He must have also had a "vitrectomy" - the official name of my surgery.

Famous Popeye Quotes:

"I is disgustipated."

"Careful there, don't ruffle me feathers."

"Wrong is wrong, even when it helps ya." (Good quote to live by!)

"I yam what I yam."

"That's all I can stands, I can't stands no more!"

Me agrees with you Popeye! ~~ (I think he actually needed a good Speech-Language Pathologist for grammar and semantics!)

NO LAUGHING GAS!: The medical bracelet I have to wear says I can't have laughing gas for fear the gas bubble remaining might explode! Pretty thought, huh? Well, don't worry! No more dental work for me until this is way over! The bubble is shrinking, thank goodness. I can see a sliver of the world at the tip-top of my Evil Eye. The rest is a blur. I'm beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel, yippee!

Day 12 After Surgery

GREAT NEWS, GREAT NEWS! I got a double-whammy of Great News from the doctor yesterday. I can drive when the gas bubble breaks up enough that I feel confident behind the wheel and if I am cognizant of the fact that my depth perception is temporarily screwed up and that I cannot see anything on my left side. The other Great News is that I can wear eye makeup! How good does it get? Now, if any of you concerned people are worried about driving in the same vicinity as me, let me give you this warning: From 7:30 to 8:00 AM weekdays mornings, beware of erratic silver Honda Fit traveling east from Arlington to Duncanville, and the same going west from 4:00 - 4:30 PM. I wish I could get a bumper sticker that says, "Caution Eye Surgery Patient Driving!" so everyone would get out of my way like we do with those "student driver" signs.

Day 10 After Surgery

SNAP OUT OF IT! This is my message to myself today. Brave up, Sharon, and take the car for a spin. (I'm dying to drive through Taco Bueno.) Hmm, my daughter suggested maybe I should wait until tomorrow to see what the doctor says...now I'm pouting. I could call it a test run - I wouldn't have to be parking in any narrow parking spaces, would I?


I originally gave this Mary Englebreit magnet to a teacher friend at my school - stuck it on her door frame...and told her to read it whenever she got mad at her precious little evil 2nd graders (now, that's NOT an oxymoron!). So, I'm taking my own advice and going to try to quit thinking that I'm looking at the world through a thick layer of vaseline with my left (evil) eye. I think from now on, I'll just refer to it as The Evil Eye - you'll know which one I mean. Hopefully, it's just temporarily evil!!


Funny thing, while in the office of the retina specialist the day I got my Good News, Bad News - I sat next to a sweet, beautifully-dressed, whisp of a woman named Ruth and we struck up a conversation about our "eyes". She was about the age my mother would be now, if she were alive. She related that she had Macular Degeneration and I related that I had a Macular Hole. She looked at me with the sweetest expression, and said, "Oh, and you have such pretty blue eyes." When she left she looked back, and said, "I will pray for you, Sharon." And then that angel left the office. She let me realize that things could always be worse, and to be thankful for our blessings, even though we don't recognize them as that at first. Now, there's something about her name that reminds me of another Ruth, the one from the Bible....she was also a good person. I know my Ruth is out there, praying for me. And I'm praying for her.

DAY 9 AFTER SURGERY

UNSOLICITED REST AND RELAXATION: Laptop, check! TV, check! Email, check! Twitter, check! Facebook, check! Blog, check! Audio books, check! Doggie by my side, check! Plenty of Diet Coke, check! How in the world would people make it when activities are suddenly and severely restricted without all the technology? I've even had phone calls from Dear Old Friends! Imagine that! Another example of Good News, Bad News. You know what the Bad News is, and the Good News is rekindled friendships. Sweet.

PLUCK AND LUCK (I'm going to stop there - get it?): With pluck I can do this, it's getting easier every day. With luck, the healing will be swift and sure. Thanks to all the well wishes and prayers from a lot of wonderful friends.

THE EVIL EYE: The eye still looks and feels like I'm looking through a glob of opaque, gushy vaseline. So, story short, "feel good", just don't "look good". A girl needs her makeup, glitz, and bling, doesn't she? It's only a matter of time and I'll be back in all my Chico's, Brighton, Louis Vuitton, Clinique GLORY! "Hallelujah, hallelujah, halle-lu - u -jah!"

Day 8 - Eye looks good (it is dilated), but doesn't see good.