BLIND FAITH: That's how you describe this vitrectomy surgery for a macular hole. Here's why:
1. You notice that one of your eyes has distorted central vision - faces look like aliens and straight lines are curvy. (What the....?@!)
2. You go see your opthamologist who sends you to a retina specialist the same day because this is a big-time problemo - and you are the proud owner of a MACULAR HOLE (a WHAT?!).
3. You have immediate painless out-patient eye surgery to close the hole before it gets worse.
4. What the surgeon does: He pokes holes in your eyes with equipment that sucks out the vitreous gel inside the eyeball - he smoothes over the macular hole - then he blows a gas bubble into your eyeball to press against the repaired hole & keep it shut. (The gas will dissapate over time & your own vitreous gel will replenish itself. - wallah!)
5. After the surgery you are subjected to the torture of having to remain face-down for at least five days. It's like being in a massage chair or table 24/7. Your eye feels fine - it is your strained neck and back that start absolutely killing you from the positioning. Not to mention the boredom of looking at the floor! (CHALLENGE #1)
6. Soon, you can look up, because supposedly and/or hopefully the gas bubble in your bad eye has pressed against the repaired hole long enough to keep the darn hole closed (like holding something you glue until it sets). Afterwards, this bubble keeps you from seeing anything, because, man, you can't see through it! Oh, yes, the bubble gets a little smaller each day, but the fact that you can't see anything on that side of your body, and the fact that your depth perception sucks - well, this could drive you C.R.A.Z.Y. (CHALLEGE #2)
7. But, it's mind over matter. You know you have an excellent surgeon. You know you have researched the results from this procedure ad nauseum and that you will see normal again - soon enough.
8. But, you have to have blind faith that this is going to happen. There's nothing you can do but wait. Six weeks isn't that long, is it? That's one report card for all us school teachers.
9. I do have faith - albeit blind faith - that my outcome will be good. In the meantime, I keep wanting to shut my luckily winkable bad eye, just so I can see "normal" - but I sure hate to do that in public. But you KNOW that you can do anything for a SHORT time - right? (How many times have I preached that to my kids?)
10. SO - when I can put the brush back into my fingernail polish on the first try - and hit the red order button at Sonic on the first try - I will THEN know - that my faith was rewarded, and I'm back to my old honery self - warts and all!
Do you think they'll want to put this description in the American Journal of Medicine? If so, I should have used the APA formatting and style guide to writing. Didn't and won't and shouldn't!